Of Modesty and Men

It's been awhile, apparently I've been a little preoccupied elsewhere over the last few months. Let's just take it as getting all kinds of new ideas to blog. Today the Elder's Quorum President came into relief society to ask the girls their qualms about dating. Things they think the guys in the ward should now. Many things were mentioned; the need to ask, plan something, keep it simple, keep it cheap, etc. Throughout the 15 minute discussion there was one thing that kept coming to mind. I wasn't sure that I could say it in front of a captive relief society audience so I decided to wait until later to bring it up. I also found it blog worthy.


So here is the question of the day/week/month/year that I have had. Why is it that men/boys think it's okay to date females that dress immodestly. Especially the return missionaries that spent 2 years teaching the gospel. I know you're supposed to teach modesty in those lessons, I did it. They say that's not who they want to marry, but newsflash: You marry who you date. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. All it's doing is giving them positive feedback. For example, dancing the other night, there was a girl wearing a skirt that was way too short for any kind of dancing, yet she kept getting asked, while others in pants did not. In my ward it is the younger girls in the short skirts and low tops that are always being asked out, while others that are just as attractive but cover up never get asked out once. And I'm tired of hearing the modesty lessons in Relief Society. Those girls know them, but until the men stop giving positive reinforcement to their disobedience they are never going to change.


My question for the men is, are you going to be okay when your daughters dress that way. Because obviously your girlfriends/someday-to-be-wifes think that it's alright, and who do you think will be shopping with them, not you! Also, people don't change the way they dress just because they go to the temple to get married. A habit's a habit and if they think it's okay now it's not suddenly going to change overnight. So be a man and live what you supposedly taught. Better yet, help a girl out and teach them that dressing that way is not okay!

Multiple Personalities Anyone???

Not to long ago I was getting ready for a date, trying to decide what to wear. At first I pulled out a nice button down shirt (the only one I own) and a pair of slacks (that I have worn maybe twice this entire year). After looking at them for a minute, I threw them aside, pulled out my camo-print cargo capris and a T-shirt. Which I adorned simply with a pair of flip-flops. After careful consideration, that became my outfit of choice to wear. Now I will admit that I am far from the latest fashionista. I definitely care more about comfort then style, but I don't feel I'm completely lacking in judgement either. My final choice was determined by my desire to simply "be myself". I figure if a guy is going to like me, I want him to like the me he will see everyday, not the person I pretend to be so that I can get a second date. I had a friend tell me however that I was wrong, if I "pretend" to be someone else, apparently that person is me too. Because obviously it's always you, you don't become a different person just because you look and act different. Now, I agree with that which leads me to my point. Most people in this world must have multiple personalities. Since they are one person at work, someone else at home, entirely different at church, they go out clubbing as their alter-ego. It's really hard to keep it all straight...sometimes I wonder if even they can. So why can't people just figure out what they like, who they want to be, and be that person. People will either like you or not, but at least you will like you and the rest isn't your concern. And if you don't like yourself maybe you should do something about it. But that's an entirely different can of worms.